Monkey's Birth Story

Quite strangely, I went into labor at the same time as Munchkin's - 2 days early at 3:30am! Though, the similarities ended there! I let my husband and son sleep, and started calling my mother to notify her so she could drive here in time to watch my son. Unable to sleep, I decided to get out of bed and bake some muffins for breakfast and make sure I had all my ducks in a row so to speak. I was having contractions the whole time, but they were short - maybe 30seconds; so, I just paused to breathe, visualize and such. Eventually the boys got up and grandma arrived. I notified my doctor's office when contractions were 5min apart (about 9am) but my husband had some work he needed to do so I took a bath to slow things down. Unfortunately, they slowed too much (to about 7min apart). Then, around noon I posted to Facebook that I was feeling discouraged and thinking it was going to be another long labor. I snapped one last picture of my pregnant belly and tried to get things going again by bouncing on the exercise ball. BAD idea - way too painful. So I tried to rest in bed on my side. No luck. 


Then, very soon after I got dressed, contractions jumped to just 4min apart, lasting 60sec but then after just 10seconds, ANOTHER 60second contraction would start! It was WEIRD, and they became more intense as well - to the point I had to vocalize to get through them! As soon as I could talk, I told hubby he needed to finish up because we needed to leave ASAP! By the time we got out the door, I could barely support myself through the contractions, but was managing the pain pretty well using the hypno-birth breathing exercises, and meditations of acceptance, surrender, allowance, and so on. However, when it came to actually getting IN the van...this proved difficult. I couldn't IMAGINE sitting down, knowing the pain would be intolerable. So, in the 2minutes I had between contractions, I climbed in the seat backwards and held onto the headrest. Munchkin, who was watching all this from his carseat, quickly scolded me for not wearing my seatbelt; so, after the next contraction (which was stronger and louder now that I was almost squatting) I somehow got the seatbelt around my huge body and reassured him I was 'safe.' (After that, he scarcely said a word for the rest of the 25minute drive!) For the first part of the drive, I was still coherent enough to yell at my husband for his driving. For the later half, I had to hold my hypno-birth type of recordings to my ear to keep it together as not to scare my son!

We arrived at about 1:25pm. Naturally, I refused (via a head-shake) all FOUR wheelchairs that were offered to me, even though I was having to put all my weight on my husband during contractions. I simply had NO strength left in my legs from mostly being on my feet since 3:30am. Slowly, but loudly I made my way to the Labor/Delivery floor as the contractions seemed to be coming one on top of another by then. I do remember two strange things at this point: First, MANY people randomly asked my husband if it was my first birth. Later, the nurse told me this was because that gives them an indication of how much time they have to work with. And 2)I remember my husband requesting they hold the elevator for us, only to walk up to it being FULL, and I said "Huh-ah...Are you kidding!?" I'm not laboring in there with all those people! LOL

When in the LD room I immediately started undressing (!), had a contraction, then climbed onto the bed backward, essentially kneeling. At this point while putting on the fetal monitors, my L/D nurse figured out I was in back-labor and suggested counter-pressure on my sacrum. It SAVED me! Although, my husband was the only one strong enough to apply enough pressure to make a difference!! Meanwhile, a doctor entered, introducing himself (I still don't know his name, but later found out he was a resident) and when he made his way to my side, I remember hearing him say to me DURING a contraction, "Okay, Ma'am. We'll just get you your epidural and break your water, and you'll have your ba--" I responded the only way I could: non-verbally...bulging my eyes and vigorously shaking my head! When I could talk again, I said "No. Not what...I want! Birthplan...Honey, birthplan," as I pointed to my bag. When handed the big folder of papers, the doctor's eyes widened at the size. (No worries! In reality, he only needed to read the first few bullet points of the first page!) He skimmed it, and said no problem, but added, "First things first, we need to check how dilated you are." I thought, "Oh yeah. Of course," then proceeded to plead with him to lie on my side, insisting with something like "I can't do it. I just CANNOT lie on my back. Please don't make me lie on my back." He consented, and I heard him say I was 7CM!!!! A HUGE wave of endorphins rushed over me, because although I felt the urge to push while kneeling in the van and lobby, I didn't want to get my hopes up for anything more than 4CM. So, the next choice was whether to break the waters or not. And I was just about to decide when I felt a contraction coming on, and had an inkling it was going to break anyway. It DID! The next few contractions brought with them an urge to bear down, so he did another awkward cervical check, and...9 1/2CM! ("Yay!!") A few more contractions and my body was pushing the baby for me. I recall saying "Wooooooww" through the contractions because it was such an overwhelming physical sensation :-) I got the OK to bear-down, and several pushes (on my part) later, Monkey was here! I almost COULDN'T believe it. I mean, in my mind we had *just* arrived to the hospital, afterall, and I didn't even have an IV in! 

When I saw him for the first time, my eyes went straight to his HAIR, then his face and body. He just had so much hair! One of the highlights of the whole thing, was that my friend Allison arrived just in time for his birth, and stayed until I was able to settle into my room. GaGa brought Munchkin to the hospital that night to meet his brother for the first time :-) 

It was all so powerful, so wonderful - almost overwhelming.

How was it different?

I couldn't possibly list them all, but the major differences were: 

1) It was a third as long! (Yay!!!)

2) It was intervention-less. In part, it was because there was simply no time for anything to be done, not even a simple HepLock, nor a more complicated epidural, nor breaking the waters early (like previous birth), and so on. But also, I was more mentally prepared and resolved about it this time; they would've had to work really hard to convince me the risks outweighed any benefit. 

3) Recovery from the tear was a breeze compared to the first time around.   

4) It was MUCH more physically demanding: From being on my feet, gripping the bed's side-bars, and the strength of the contractions, etc. (Honestly, I wish I was more prepared; my abs and thighs were literally fatigued and 'shaky' for weeks.)

5) It was also more 'positive' generally speaking in that the natural endorphins were stronger and/or more plentiful this time and lasted for days! Mentally, I was sharp and alert postpartum, and morale was actually high!  

Welcome to the World Monkey!

We're proud to announce the birth of our second boy

(to be officially known as "Monkey" on the blog!)

He was born April 23rd after a natural birth of just 11 hours.

 He was a healthy 8lbs even, and 21inches long!!  

As you'll see, he seems to get his eyebrows, nose, and lips from daddy and only his eyes from me! 
I'll try to post more pics by the weekend. I know I've been negligent. So sorry!!

Like Munchkin, he's a very 'happy' baby. And thank goodness all the tasks of his care are repetitive and simple! (SOME part of the birth and infancy has to be simple, right!?)  Overall, we're doing pretty well, trying to be patient with ourselves and eachother! Having two kids is different ballgame for sure - much harder on a marriage. But we try to keep things light-hearted. I keep reminding myself that things will become more of a routine soon, and Munchkin will be back in preschool too. So that will at least give me some down-time to 'catch-up" on SO many tasks that have been put off since mid-pregnancy! 



Joys of Breastfeeding

From his first feeding, he has been a champion eater. The only glitch we ran into was that he tended to just 'hold' the nipple in his mouth, not sucking. Almost like he thought he didn't have to do any work ;-) It quickly passed though, lasting only about a week or so.

As each day went by, I was reminded of all the real benefits:   

It forces you to sit down and relax every 2-3 hours!
Doesn't stain/stink like the "formula smell"  and I'm sure it has to taste better to him.

It supports his immunity in these early weeks/months.

It's way less expensive than the formula we would use.

Munchkin's poo doesn't smell as bad as formula poo! (What more can you ask for.)

My favorite part has to be the "reward" of how cuddly he is afterward, and the little sounds he makes!
As a bonus, it's so sweet to see him play with his hair - heehee!!   

That's all for now. Thanks again for everyone's encouragement and support!
**If you leave a comment below, please remember to not use baby's name online - thanks.**

Defining Christmas for my family...

Having kids makes you literally rethink almost every decision and action you make - from what restaurants to go to and which cleaning products to use to how you celebrate the holidays. I've avoided it for 2 Thanksgivings and Christmases, but this year I knew I had to face it head on! Munchkin is old enough that I knew he'd hear about Santa, knew he'd see light displays at night and probably ask why they're done. Most influential is the fact that this year we will be celebrating Christmas at our home for the first time! So I had to come up with some answers fast. Unfortunately, the questions I would likely encounter piled up much faster than the answers. 

-Why put up a tree? Lights? Wreaths?

-Who's Santa? (Ssetting aside for at least this year the question of whether he's real. Whew!) 

-What's Advent? 

-What's Christmas?

-Why DO I bake so many cookies!?

-How many presents should I give to him? 

-Are traditions even important? Afterall, I didn't grow up with any...

So shortly after Thanksgiving, I started asking all my family and friends to share their traditions with me. Some were surprisingly meaningful, wonderfully thoughtful, and resonated with me, while others were rather goofy and didn't 'stick'. That said, the common theme was HOW the tradition was executed - either as a family or by "only mom and I," for example. Those relationships that were nurtured seemed to be what had the lasting impact. Also, underlying them was the fact that the child was made to feel special and/or part of a family unit! When trying to draw our our traditions from the suggestions given, we kept that in mind. We also tried to only start what we could maintain; after all, our children, (and we) will 'mature.' Although I hate to admit it, toddlers do indeed turn into teens with ideas of their own!

So here's the answers that we came up with and have explained to Muchkin, thus far:  

1. "Santa is the nickname for Saint Nicolas. He was a real person long ago who gave gifts to needy kids. Some people say he still comes and gives gifts to kids, but no one really knows. It's a wonderful mystery!"

2. "Christmas is the day we celebrate when Jesus was born. He was a very special man who taught many people how to love eachother and to give openly to those in need."

3. "We remember him by doing things like decorating an evergreen tree and putting up evergreen wreaths. His love for all his creation is as constant as an evergreen tree's color. And also we remember him by singing hymns and carols about him." And so on...

4. "Advent is how we count the days from Thanksgiving, up to Christmas. We'll state each day what we're thankful for and how we can show our appreciation for it." (Specifics below.)

5. "And we are so thankful for daddy that we will write a special letter to him about how much we love him." (Come to find out, this is actually an old Italian tradition as well. They place it under the dad's plate on Christmas Eve!)

6. "On Christmas Eve, we will set up the Nativity scene of Jesus' birth and tell the story. Then, we'll give eachother 3 gifts like he received: Gold = one gift you want, Frankincense = one you need, and Myrrh = one that will help you grow. And maybe Santa will even bring you a stocking in the morning with some goodies in it". (Of course, he'll get one, which will serve to occupy him while I make a nice breakfast Christmas day.) 

7. "I chose to bake cookies because I'm thankful for our neighbors, and friends, and firefighters, and others, and want to show them that we appreciate them."

8. We do ________ because we love eachother!  (This will hopefully be the answer that explains any other tasks we perform or behaviors we exhibit - NOT to include pepper-spraying fellow shoppers!)

9. Repetitions of the above: Attend our town's Tree Lighting event, attend performances of the carols and the like.

10. Lights: "These don't really have anything to do with Christmas that I know of, Munchkin, but because it's wintertime. We celebrate the winter season by making warm fires, roasting marshmallows, putting up beautiful garlands and we light them on the longest day of the year: usually December 22." Adding in that "Some people like the lights and decorations SO much, they put them up reeeaaally early, Sweety!"   

Advent calendar: Here's the list we came up with for this year. We were able to do about 1/2 of them this year, which I'd call success considering I started this endeavor the 5th and am pregnant! If the daily tasks get overwhelming as the kids are in school and have additional obligations, I could also see it being done on a weekly basis, focussing on one category each week. For instance, the first week being thankful for things we're given (and in return giving to those who don't have those things), the next week centered on community, the next week focus on family/friends. Then, the week leading to the 25th, focus on Jesus. Some people even continue these advents as counting toward the new year so as to avoid the anti-climax that happens on the 26th!  (I formatted the list as: We're thankful for X, so let's do Y.)  I intend to just print them out and cut them into little strips that I can fit into his Advent Tree drawers.

1. Blessings we have. Bless others in need

*For having so many toys to play with. Because we have so many, let's sort through our toys today and see how many we can share with other kids who need toys . (Or for older kids, video games and the like, or go out together to buy some new ones to donate.)

*For healthy bodies and healthy food to eat the whole year round. So let's go grocery shopping today, buying food for kids and families who don't have enough food today. (Or when kids are older let's go give blood to help someone who needs it.)

*For the gift of plenty of food to eat all year round. Many kids and families don't have enough to fill their bellies, and don't ever get to have treats like Chocolate, Candies, Popcorn, and Lollipops, so let's go to the grocery store today and buy those things to donate to kids.

*For the gift of God's love that never leaves us, just like the greenery of an evergreen tree! (Tree Decorating Day)

*For the gift nature and its beauty, smells, and sounds. So let's make some treats for the birds to enjoy outside this cold winter! Or we could gather pine cones and leaves and acorns to spray with glitter and decorate the house or some other nature craft.

*For the gift of having a beautiful home that keeps us safe from the winter weather. So let's decorate our home with fun paper chains  and paper snowflakes today. Or when kids are older, let's give a donation to Habitat for Humanity. 

*For the gift of wintertime when all things rest except the evergreen, which is like God's love. So let's decorate our house with evergreen garlands and wreaths today. We'll light them on the Longest Night of the year.

2. Community: 

*For all the extra special 'treats' we get to enjoy in life like cookies and candies. So let's bake some cookies to share some treats with the people we appreciate the whole year round.  

*For our local firefighters who protect us. So lets write them a note of thanks, and take some treats to them.

*For our neighbors. So let's  deliver our treat bags we made them Candies, Cookies, an Ornament!?

*For our teachers who help us learn and grow. So let's give them their cookies/gift, and a note that lists all the things we've learned from them.

*For our mailcarrier, barber, doctor, and so on. So let's write them a note too.

*For our Mayor, Pastors, School Principle, and others. So let's write them each a note of thanks.

*For our local food bank workers. So let's write a note to the employees to thank them for their work.

*For the troops who protect us.  So let's write and send them cards.

*For the sacrifices that the troops' families make.  They have to stay behind and sometimes need our support. So let's show them our appreciation today by giving them something special!

3. Friends/Family: 

*For our friends. So let's give them their cards/gifts/cookies.*For Mommy and all she does for us through the year. So today we'll do something special for mom (take her to dinner, make something special, or write  her a letter telling her how much you love her.

*For dad working so hard all throughout the year.  So today, let's write daddy a letter telling him how much we love him.

*For time spent together as a family. So let's go take a Night Drive to see all the beautiful light displays.

*For having Mom & Dad and Brothers/Sisters who love us. So let's enjoy each other's company tonight by watching a funny movie, playing games together, and laughing a lot!

"Date-specific" Activities:

*For the great community of people we are a part of, so let's go be with them to watch the town's Tree Lighting event!

*For Jesus' coming into the world as a baby long ago. So let's set up the Nativity Scene Christmas Eve.

*For the Longest Night of the year and how things will only get brighter after tonight! So let's have a fire (bonfire when they're older) and have Hot Dogs, Veggies, Smores, and Hot Cocoa

*For Jesus' Birth. So let's celebrate with a cake (or cupcake/muffin) and a lit candle.

*For beautiful music and the local fine arts. So let's attend a Messiah performance. (Or when kids are older have a “Silent Night” at home – turn off the cell phones, computers, and all technology that begins with the letter 'i' to play board games as a family, listen to some carols or holiday music, drink hot apple cider, and so on.

Other Activity Ideas: 

*For living in the US and having the freedom to celebrate the change of season as we wish, so let's learn about ways other people chose to celebrate this special time of year: Kwanza, Hannukah, and so on.

*For our Heritage. So let's have a Christmas Curry Night and invite some friends over. (or go out to an Indian dinner with friends!) (You could fill in anything from something from your culture's customs). 

*For our neighborhood. So let's go for a walk and pick up trash today.

*For our town having  a great playpark for us to enjoy. So let's go to the park today, and if we see any trash lying around we'll pick it up.

*For our house and its fireplace that keeps us warm. So today, we'll give blankets to families/newborn babies in need, and create a fire tonight remembering that others are cold. 

If you've read this far, then I'll add that I just discovered, last night, something called Advent Conspiracy.  (Here's the Youtube video about it.) After viewing it, it's made me rethink *some* of what's above and you may just see a post around November 2012 containing some changes to the list above!


Merry Christmas to all!

He's talking!!!

I mean talking a LOT!  Just in the last 2 months, he's gone from around 20 words to two word sentences like "Dada walk!" and "El (Ellie) sit."  It's so cool.  But it happened so fast I didn't realize that I hadn't changed my methods with him accordingly!  Today I was on a "mom forum" while my guys were napping, and found this post about how to teach a toddler to NOT do a behavior.

"My son is a 'young' 19 months-- I think he's a bit less mature than others his age. We've been disciplining by 1) just plum avoiding bad situations 2) distracting him and have slowly been working on teaching appropriate behavoirs. 

This has been working really well for us-- I'm so proud that he now understand that you 'pat' little sister, that chalk can only go outside, that we say 'sshhh' quietly when sister is sleeping.  

But I've never been successful at teaching him *not* to do something. the two main issues are hitting the power button on the tv, and going through the clothes baskets adn throwing everything on the floor... but it's getting worse. "

A very thoughtful mom responded with the following!!!!

"In my house with my own kids and my daycare kids, this is what I do. For the trivial things, like pulling clothes out or all the books on the bookshelves, taking out the movies, etc...I give it a couple weeks to see if they get it out of their system. Sometimes the novelty of it wears off during that time all on its own. If it doesn't, then I will say, "Uh oh, clothes stay in the basket, if you want to dump, lets find a toy" and then we will find something that addresses the same skill in a more appropriate forum. Even filling up a cardboard box with rags would be a great way to offer him a place he can play and an activity you can immediately redirect him.

The things you are describing your DS doing are all great skills for his age and he is learning cause and effect with the things he is doing. Fill and dump and on and off are both developmentally appropriate actions. As caregivers, it is our job to provide them with opportunities to practice these things in a safe space. I don't think you will have any success simply telling him what he can't do. A toddler's brain doesn't work like that. You can definitely show him the things he CAN do using the same skills and everyone will win."

I LOVED this, not only for its clear wisdom of focusing on WHY the child was dumping things and turning an item on/off.  But for another reason entirely.  It taught me something and I thought I'd share my 'discovery' with you all.

I responded to the wise woman's words with this:
WOW!  My son (25mths) wasn't verbal until just about 2 mths ago.  So since about 14-16mths  when he started understanding the meaning of No, but couldn't say it yet, I had to find some way to get him to 'NOT' do certain things that were off limits like hit, nip/bite, etc.  (Especially only for those cases, because I wanted my "No" to still hold weight as he gets older!)   I was a fan of 'redirection' to other activities, but when it was any sort of aggression, I drew the line and felt I had to start using at least simple 2 word phrases like "No Bite," "No Kick," "No Throw" when throwing wasn't appropriate, and so on. 

But reading your post today, I realized I'm STILL using those "No ____" phrases, even though he's recently started talking!  That's so mindless of me I almost can't believe it.  I will definitely start giving him the outlet for these skills, and the words to name them as they occur!

I guess that's another lesson for ME: Just because he couldn't understand something yesterday, doesn't me he can't today!!  Address him at his level, BUT constantly re-assess where that level is!!!!  

What Moms Really Want for Christmas....

Ha, you're kidding right!?  Nobody knows that, except her!  No matter how long a woman's been a mom, there's no way to generalize and proclaim what all moms want. Although, many articles I've read recently online have certainly tried, naming the typical candles, perfume, jewelry, and such.  Not that those things are "wrong" but you simply can't say that any one thing or "10 top things" will fit all moms. One article actually suggested tools & storage tubs in it's top ten!  (No joke -- HERE it is!)  Those items are certainly useful, but who would pass up a day at the spa for a set of wrenches!?  One of my favorite (and completely unexpected) answers to this question came from a mom of older children HERE!  And no, moms certainly don't want the proverbial kitchen sink thrown at them either, in hopes that one of many items pleases her. This method only shows just how little thought was put into her gift.

When my sisters and I were young I remember one Christmas we all got together to choose a "birthstone ring" for my mom that we thought was so special.  But she probably just wanted a week off from doing her 3 teenage girls' laundry or a day to sleep in each week!  I'm sure we asked her what she wanted, but received the usual response: "I don't need anything, girls. Don't waste your money on me."  So we went with what the ad agencies told us: "Any mom would be happy with...." (insert candles, perfumes, soaps, etc).  I've learned a lot since then.  Now, I ask her each year, and she asks for a pair of earrings -- and that exactly what I get her!

That's my tried and true approach.  Asking!  Surprises are nice on Christmas morning, but what if the mom hates the item every other day of the year and it ends up in the box headed to Goodwill?!!  Ultimately the only way to choose the perfect gift is by asking.  (Although, you may have to add a threat that if she isn't honest, her gift will be set of wrenches!)  Seriously, moms are women, and who is the only person who will really know what she wants?  She will. (Well, most will!)  So ask!  

While it's true that you can't generalize about material gifts, it's also true that no mom would turn down some time away, with or without Mr. Right by her side!  Time to do whatever her heart desires: maybe read a waste-of-time-and-money magazine, get a massage, read a book, or SLEEP!  Just some "time off" :-)

**This comes with a caveat: General categories are not allowed.  

You can't let her just say JEWELRY, for instance.  Either let her select it or give her a gift card with a memo line stating what it's for!  For instance, I would not be pleased if my husband bought me a watch simply because I said JEWELRY and he saw a "Jareds" commercial!  I don't want a watch that's picked out by someone else, and he bought me one the first year we were together (selected by me) and I LOVED it and STILL love it.  I wouldn't want a new one!  Other women I know just don't wear necklaces, or don't like a certain style of jewelry, etc.  So be specific moms and hopefully, you'll get exactly what you asked for!!  

And for the record, that article linked above was way off: 

DON'T get ANY mom ANYTHING on the following list 

unless she ASKS for it specifically: 

Tools, Appliances (large or small), "Junk-of-the-month Club" subscriptions, Knick-knacks (aka dust-collectors), nor anything that requires more work or maintenance on her part  ;-)

Tea for you? Tea for ME!!

In my sisters' and my childhood one of our aunts took us to experience high tea at formal tea parlors on numerous occasions.  What an experience!  We understood, even then, that it was something very special she was sharing with us.  After meeting my hubby I've learned more about partaking in tea as a means to reconnect at the end of a long work day(both his and mine at home), but before all our evening tasks begin (i.e. preparing dinner, exercising, feeding/bathing Munchkin).  It's time for us to be reminded that we're a team, that we are united!  And I'm sure there's a bit of nostalgia that's part of it as well.  For him: remembering his roots of growing up in India having tea daily.  And for me: recalling fond memories of Russian caravan tea, artful china, real Devonshire cream, and the tastiest petit fours a young girl could ever imagine!  Thanks Auntie!

Pic of our snacks we enjoy with our daily tea!

Mine: recently English Breakfast tea

His: always Homemade Indian Masala chai

Uni-tasking Mamas: Be Proud!

After reading Now Discover your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham a while back, I proudly proclaim -- I'm simply NOT a multi-tasker!  You give me a task (please just one) and it will be researched, thoroughly thought out, and then reported upon and/or accomplished.  And done right the first time!   It takes great effort for me to multi-task anything, and do it well.  It's indeed not a weakness, it's just not one of my strengths.  


Some women are naturally multi-taskers -- namely my sister Bonnie!  4 kids, 1 on the way, and she seems to do it with ease.  She can filter out the noise and still focus.  She can cook dinner while talking on the phone, receive a second call on the other line, and entertain an infant in the highchair, all at the same time.   Meanwhile, do a load of laundry downstairs!   In the end, the meal is perfect, the clothes are clean and dry, the people on the phone feel heard/valued, and the kids feels secure in their mom's love!  (My husband wishes to add "She could also be...quite possibly...from another planet!!"  


I am her exact opposite: a uni-tasker!  You see, in the above scenario, my dinner would be burnt, I'd be pressing buttons on the phone accidentally and lose at least one of the calls (not really hearing anything the person was saying in the first place), and my son would be bored, probably feeding the dog his dinner!  And oh yeah,...the clothes would be long-forgotten in the washer, not being dried til the next day when I remember them.  No joke.  I prefer to do the laundry while I'm sleeping or running errands, make dinner ahead of time while Munchkin sleeps (or do a crockpot meal), and maybe just talk on the phone while I feed him.   Everything still gets done, but not all at once, which frazzles me.


I have become better at muti-tasking after I HAD TO, upon entering the "real world" post-college.  I even had to 'white lie' through my first job interview or two for small jobs when asked about it, just to get the job!  My husband contributes this valuable insight, as well: that your computer's processor is in fact called a "multi-processor' but it actually prioritizes and queues the many tasks you ask of it, then executes them one by one.  This is exactly what I have come to do to work around not being a natural mutli-tasker!  And now, I could 'pass' as a multi-tasker, but I prefer silence so I can focus and do it right.   


And take these seriously successful people for example.  1) Tiger Woods -- known for his ability to focus and be "in the zone."  2) Steve Lescarbeau -- lesser known, but proclaimed a "Stock Market Wizard" as a very successful mutual fund trader who works alone in his thoughts, in his quiet, home-office, away from Wallstreet.  So both UNI and MULTI tasking mamas can be proud!  It doesn't really matter how we do what we do, just that it's done!


Who says multi-tasking is better than uni-tasking?  When did possessing this strength equate to being a good mom?  That's my question today for you -- and for myself!

Ways WE'RE green.

As a couple, we're at the point where we can't think of too many more ways to conveniently be green. In the rainbow spectrum of eco-friendliness, we've gone from orange/yellow to chartreuse, but know we can become Kermit green with some new ideas. Of course the anal-retentive alien in me has to tally what we already do, and hopefully this exercise will spark something we haven't thought of yet.  

Growing up in a rural town and a limited budget, my mom's frugality instilled life-long habits which were unknowingly green,
Do not buy "DryCleanOnly" clothes
Empty the dryer's lint-catcher
Don't let water run when brushing teeth
Eat whole foods, not packaged/processed foods
Don't hold the frig door open!! ("Yes, mother!")  
Use cloth napkins, and cleaning rags
Short showers, washing hair every other day
Use bath towels multiple times (our bodies are already clean, after all)
Turn lights off when you leave a room
Set the thermostat lower and wear a sweatshirt
Set the thermostat higher and drape a wet washcloth on your neck
Use rechargeable batteries when possible
Give plants as gifts instead of cut flowers, unless they're from the garden!

Pack our own food as snacks on trips
Eat up the leftovers
Donate clothing, unless completely unusable for rags
Water plants in the morning, not the heat of the day
Washing/drying full loads of laundry and dishes
Avoid unnecessary car trips
Turn cars off. Don't idle longer than 10 seconds.

Then, when we moved to NC and bought our own house, we weren't all that passionate about being kind to the environment, but did eat about 30-40% organic for health reasons, not realizing it was also green! And our particular city made it extremely easy to recycle. In that, they basically accept almost everything all in one bin, even aerosols. Of course, at the curb they don't accept batteries, light bulbs, etc; but, they have a location available for you to drop them off. So after saving them in a labelled "dead batteries" bag all year, when I'm on that side of town, I'll take them along and drop them off. Same for our lightbulbs; although, we inherited them from the previous owners, and they are like the Energizer bunnies - only burning out a few times in 3 1/2 years!

NC as a whole is so environmentally active that they banned aluminum cans and plastic bottles from their landfills. Goodwill has also stared a recycling program for electronics - working or not. And since NC has made it so easy to be green, and our tv channels at that time had channels like the GreenTV, it spurred me to be more receptive to the idea of being intentionally more kind to the environment.

So after learning more, we started to :
Stop buying eggs in stryofoam (we eat a LOT of eggs)
Avoid drinking soda, unless it's for an occasional rum and coke!
Recycle everything possible
Avoid buying aerosols when possible
Buy fuel-efficient cars - a Civic and Corolla, and take care of them so they'll last longer.
Use cruise control, and coast, a LOT!
Our dog was spayed.
Don't use single-use water bottles
Switch to online bill-pay and "paperless" statements
Share lawn equipment/tools
Set thermostat low in winter (63), and high in summer (78) 
Use sunlight instead of lights all the time
Buy as much "used" as possible: couches, tables, books, shoes, clothes
Rent/Borrow instead of buying new, i.e. library and Netflix
Listen to radio and music online instead of buying CDs, etc
Email documents instead of printing them
Only use snail mail for thank-you cards or packages
Sweep off sidewalk/driveway instead of hosing down with water
Switch to compact fluorescent lights (for enclosed lights only) when ours burn out
Use dimmer switches most of the time
Buying things that LAST when we have to buy new.
Only shave legs when I must (summertime)

But the minute I found out I was pregnant, something kicked that IDEA of being green into reality. For instance, I found myself almost completely unable to reach for a paper towel. ?And when I started drinking coffee, I didn't buy a coffee maker (they eventually break) and instead used a french press that is kindof a family heirloiom, given to me.

Since pregnant, we started doing things like: 
Only use cloth napkins
Use rags and microfiber towels for cleaning (unless it's egg/dog poop, etc!)
Not using ANY plastic utensils/cups/dishes
Use reusable cloth bags at grocery stores, retail stores, and farmer's markets
Not flush every time I went #1 (which was a LOT being pregnant!)
Refrigerator and Freezer are set as warm as possible
Clean the refrigerator's coil more often with the vacuum attachment
Hubby works from home more
Receive direct deposit checks (employer and IRS)
Wash all clothes/linens in cold water
Bought more in bulk when possible (i.e. Sam's membership)
Stop using paper grocery lists altogether (keep a digital one on my phone)
-have only bought about 10 pens in 5yrs!

Then when I actually gave birth to our little Munchkin, I understood that people really do mean it when they say the words "feel the need to leave a better world for their children." I also became more aware of chemicals that harm us and the environment, in addition to the material waste I was aware of previously.  

Since having Munchkin in our lives, we: 
Choose to Cloth Diaper + use cloth wipes (have to be washed in hot water though)

Choose Breastfeeding

Use handkerchiefs and burp cloths, instead of tissues

Keep our fuel-efficient cars (Those SUVs are so tempting...)

Make my own cleaning products from vinegar, alcohol, baking soda, etc
Use non-toxic and green product brands like: SeventhGeneration, Jason, EcoSmart incectisides, 365 Bodycare, and so on

Skip dryer sheets except for towels.
Use baking soda instead of deodorant. (Don't knock it til ya try it - it works better!)
Make Munchkin's baby foods at home
Reuse his food jars/containers for craft supplies 
(when we do buy packaged, pureed foods for him)
Avoid fast-food like the plague, literally.
Get take out much less than in Cleveland (maybe once a week)
Drink less store-bought, bottled juices -- drink a lot of plain water!
Eat less meat overall, and no fish -- yuck!
Buy local and organic as much as possible (probably eat 60% organic groceries now)
Buy our gifts local for local family or online for distant friends/relatives
Give gift certificates when possible (saves gas driving to 5+ stores, and them returning items)
Source most of my sewing/crafting materials from thrift shops

Boy that's longer than I thought it would be. I guess those changes become routine and you start to accept them as habit and common-sense, especially when you consider that we made them slowly, and in stages.

Can you help us think of any additional things we can do? Please add them in the comments below!

Another Baby?!? Not me...not yet.

So Munchkin isn't the only one learning new things lately! This past month brought a first for me as well -- babysitting! I was given the privilege to babysit a few friend's kids. Each of the experiences gave me a glimpse into the types of dilemmas a mom of two little ones feels: One baby crying, but the other needs a diaper change, one needs silence to sleep, but the other needs rocked, one hurts his finger, but the other's sleeping and you certainly don't want to disturb THAT one. Physically and logistically, babysitting for short spurts of time wasn't beyond my capabilities, but what about day in and day out! How do you go to the restroom, or take a shower, or cook or clean, or fold laundry with two kids? Yikes. The greatest challenge I'm sure would be emotionally -- the guilt of not being able to respong to the older one. All this, plus the multiple times per week I am asked "So, when will you try for your second," has led me to ponder, yet again, the issue of a second child.

Despite fielding this question quite frequently lately, I have not allowed myself to really think about it. I find that it positively overwhelms me to "go there" in my mind. My gut reaction to that question is "Woh, stop right there. Who said we're gonna have a second? I'm still just enjoying Munchkin and the whole experience of becoming a parent! Why would I throw another ball in the air intentionally?" It seems like most women, after going through it once, then feel ready to do it again with no problem! So many of the same deep, soul-searching questions arise in me with the idea of a second as arose when we considered conceiving in the first place. I didn't expect that. I thought once I had a baby, the desire to have a second would come to me naturally; but, the opposite has happened. I find myself thinking twice, and thrice (and in circles) about it. After going through pregnancy (quite pleasant), labor/delivery (way too long/difficult), and post-partum (awful), I personally have NO desire to volunteer for it again. Yes, Munchkin was a 100% planned pregnancy, but I didn't know all that it would entail ;-) You know...? Not that I would change anything, it's just that now that I've gone through the whole of maternity, it's not a delightful mystery it once was, and I don't see labor/delivery as some major rite of passage like many moms have proclaimed it to be. Not to be pessimistic, but for me, that's one BIG reason to consider adoption again. That's IF hubby can talk me into having a second.

So, to me, the possibility of having a second carries with it four BIG questions: Do I have the courage it would take to have a second, venturing into the uncertainty of pregnancy/delivery once again!? Do we have the support/resources around us to have a second, cause Lord knows I'd need a breaks from the kids more often than I carve them out for myself now! And do I have the selflessness it takes to have more than one child? And finally, will Hubby's desire for Munchkin to have a sibling (since he was an only-child) outway all the previous questions!? For now the answers are "NO. Surely not. Not yet." And "Lord knows!!!"

If anything changes, I'll be sure to let all of you know ;-)

And our Munchkin is ONE year old!!

Wow...he's one year old! I honestly didn't think I'd be this emotional. But, I look at him and see what a little boy he's becoming, and the floodgates open up! I know it's a good thing that he's growing as he should, that he's healthy, happy, and is loving life as every little muchkin should. But that said, his turning one has made me face the fact that he'll turn 2, and ...3, and... 4, and he'll grow, and his shoulders will broaden, he'll play sports, and get hurt in sports, and grow taller than me, and so much more. I'm glad life comes in slow stages, day by day, or it would overwhelm me how beautiful it is. Hubby reminded me today of all the stages of life we've gone through just since we've known eachother: the free-as-a-bird in college, the decision to get married, where to work, where to settle down, when to have kids. It's breathtaking how fast life goes by. It's no wonder why we take it for granted sometimes. But I try to be mindful of the blessings it brings, and we truly celebrate it when we remember to, and hopefully that honors it enough.

Munchkin's first birthday was celebrated by my making him a homemade "smash cake" for him to enjoy the morning of his birthday (after his breakfast, of course)! And then we held a party in Pittsburgh with almost all of our family. For this I handmade the cupcake decorations. Thank you to all who made the trip to Pittsburgh to see him turn one! It really meant quite a lot to my hubby and I. Your generosity was touching, as well. He loves his books and when he's not playing with his walker/train, he's following his big red ball or swinging on his outdoor swing! For those of you who were unable to attend, here are a few highlights of the festivities!! And my sister has posted additional pictures on her site as well, HERE.

**Now that he is one year old, and sure to be more active, but have less milestones, we won't continue the monthly updates (nor send out the accompanying emails) but we'll still be posting to the website as the whole family does interesting new things, including a trip to the NC Zoo this summer. I may throw in an informative post or two about things like why/how we cloth diaper, about my craft projects, my garden, and our never-ending house projects! (Fortunately, I actually enjoy staining decks and painting, thanks to my Dad!!)

So go enjoy your spring and summer, but be sure to keep checking back with us as you're able :)

Munchkin is now 8 months old!

This past month has flown by so quickly it seems. The biggest news is that he can now crawl, and pull himself up to a standing position, and is almost "cruising" along the couch. He can't quite keep up with Ellie but he can certainly follow behind us as we walk around the house from room to room :-) He's also beginning to recognize words with their actions, like "Tap" and "Kick". Although he hasn't sprouted any more teeth (in the past 3 months), he continues to "eat" his toes from in a sitting position. (How a baby can be so cute is beyond me!!) The only task in my day requiring real patience is his eating of solid foods. Many days he is open (literally) to the idea of eating, but other days he positively refuses by turning his head or "spitting" out the food. Sweet fruits, however, go down with no struggles whatsoever!

Other than all that, I feel like there's no real news or issues that we're having: cloth diapering is going well, he is sleeping well, still takes at least 2 glorious naps per day, and plays contently with his toys or Ellie's tail. I feel as though we as a family have *finally* worked our way into a routine which works for us. We're all getting more sleep consistently which helps tremendously, and things have become rather predictable. Which has been positive and negative at times. On one hand, I have sought SOME semblance of a routine since he was born, but on the other hand, life can seem rather repetitious and non-spontaneous at times. We've also been spending more time, really MOST of our time indoors. Partially because Ol' Man Winter has decided to make himself at home here, but also because the flus (plural) are still pervasive in our city, especially among kids :( So it was a highlight of my month to go for a walk with my neighbor and her little ones and have a friend, and her sweet little daughter, over to the house for a crochet lesson! On a sidenote, my workouts have been consistent, but have slipped down to only twice per week since I've lost all the pregnancy weight!

To keep busy, I've been crocheting a little jungle-full of animals as one of Munchkin's Christmas presents! I've also made him a silky snugglie that's Christmas themed! (I promise I'll post pics of all these projects closer to Christmas.) As for decorating for the holidays, I've only managed to put up some lights and some garland, but it's all for the best; since he's still at that mouthing stage where anything which can fit in his mouth goes in his mouth!

Here are just some of the many pictures we've taken this month.  And as always there's more pics of him in the online picture albums of him (including a series of shots that Hubby took with him inside a laundry basket -- hilarious!!! Those links can be found on the left of the blog. Hope you all enjoy your holidays with family and good friends, and stay warm by a cozy fire -- I know that's where I'll be ;-)